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Can I give a shout out to Derrick Lewis?

August 29, 2017
 

It feels good to help people #houstonflood

A post shared by Derrick Lewis (@thebeastufc) on

Derrick Lewis is out there just doing the dang thing. Rhonda Rousey married Travis Browne on Saturday, but then this happened. How quickly do you think she filed for annulment? Immediately. I don't know where Rhonda is at currently, but I bet it's pretty flooded as well if you catch my drift. Travis better get a big ass truck and drive his ass down to Houston if he wants to save his marriage. 

It's finally over.

August 28, 2017

After months of waiting in anticipation, the Floyd/Conor circus has finally left town. We have been saying since it was announced that it was going to go down EXACTLY as it it did. I think the only difference is that we called round 9 instead of round 10. I legitimately can't believe the amount of people that drank the Kool-Aid on this fight. Conor didn't even really think he was going to win this fight, but he made you all believe he was. 

Do you know why Usain Bolt is so good at the 100 yard dash? Because that's all he does. He doesn't run the 200, 400, mile, or anything else. To think that someone who is not a boxer was going to walk in and beat an undefeated 15 time world champion at his own game is just insane. Did he do decent? Sure. He lasted longer than I expected and he landed a few legit shots. However, this was what Floyd was planning the entire time. Let him gas himself out after 4 rounds and then beat the brakes off of him. Did Floyd plan on catching that uppercut in round 1? Of course not. But that also showed him what Conor's power (or lack of) was going to be like during the fight. There were so many things working against Conor for this fight (Including the judges) that I wouldn't even bet he wins this 1 out of 100 times. 

First, he isn't a boxer. Which was painfully obvious by his lack of understanding of the rules. Second, the gloves are twice as heavy as he is used to in the UFC (8 oz vs 4 oz), which will get heavy after a while. Third, the body expels heat through the head, hands, and feet. Conor is used to being barefoot with open fingered gloves, now he has shoes on and closed gloves. He lost 4/5 ways to expel heat which he is absolutely not used to. Fourth, Conor's max fight time is 25 minutes which he only hit once in a majority decision win over Nate Diaz where he looked absolutely horrible after 15 minutes. This fight would have maxed out at 36 minutes, and he was at 28:05 when he finally went down. And finally the judges were never going to let him win. 2 out of 3 judges ONLY gave him round 1. Anyone watching knows that Floyd gave him the first 3 rounds, but those judges were not having it. If this fight would have gone to decision Conor was losing no matter what and not because of his performance, but because those judges were full of shit. 

I think this scene from Fast and Furious pretty much sums up the fight. 

Now the question is, does Conor come back to MMA? I say no for a few reasons. This payday was by far bigger than any MMA payday. The UFC simply can't afford him. Why on Earth would he come back after a 100 million dollar payday to risk injury for $5 million? I just don't see it. Not only that, if the UFC did raise his payday, then other fighters are going to demand more money. One of the main reasons the UFC was able to survive as long as it has (mainly through the earlier times) was because they kept fighter paydays reasonable. Obvioulsy it's a 4 billion dollar company now, but if they want to keep their profit margins wide, they have to continue to keep fighter pay reasonable. Personally I think anyone on a UFC contract deserves to have a living wage, or retainer fee, plus a fight purse, but that is a blog for another time. The other reason I think he isn't coming back is the one everyone is probably sick of hearing; he hasn't ever defended a belt. Why start now? He's the king of Dublin. At least we are getting GSP back soon. 

Who is Mayweather trying to bullshit?

August 9, 2017

We all know Conor is younger and bigger. We have been saying that since this fight was made official. Does Floyd think that we are supposed to believe he just realized this? GTFO with that bullshit. I don't think these guys cold be more transparent if they had a script in front of them. As of right now there are a ton of tickets left over for this fight. Why? Because fans of both sports know it's a bullshit fight, and the filthy casuals that actually want to see this fight aren't dropping $1,600 on a damn ticket. Sure, some tickets were sold to people who just wanted to flash the fact that they were going to be there, but all those people are done buying tickets. Now you have to convince real fans with real money that this event is worth it. How do you do that? Have Floyd basically admit he might lose. So now people who have been laughing at the Great White Hype of Conor McGregor have to take pause to wonder if Floyd is in his own head. He isn't. Don't believe the hype. Floyd is a boxer and he knows how to win. Conor is not a boxer and won'tr defend the belts he already has. Stay Woke

 

Me VS the home remodel

August 2, 2017

I know I am supposed to be blogging more, but I will be honest here; I am losing the battle with my home remodel. It is literally just sucking away at my will to live. I am not gonna sit here and bitch about everything that has gone wrong so far, or how much more money is being spent than planned, but just know it's plenty on both accounts. I really wanted this to be done before my kids got home next week, and that isn't gonna happen. Every day it's another uphill battle over carpet, or tile, or what stupid shower head goes in what bathroom, or what color grout we want. I just want a toilet that flushes, a shower that works, and a floor I can walk on. At this point I don't care of the carpet is hot pink and the faucet is a garden hose, I just want it over with. This has to be what Tonya Evinger felt like against Cyborg last week. I don't care how, just end it already.

That fight was hard to watch. I can't blame Cyborg for keeping it going for as long as she did. When she dropped Tonya with the very first punch of the fight, you kind of saw a little panic in her eye because she knew she needed some more screen time for people to really grasp who she is. We've known about Cyborg for quite a while, but even the house I was watching the UFC at had people convinced that Rhonda Rousey could beat her. People don't understand the sheer domination this woman has put forth in MMA for over a decade. She has 1 loss on her record and that was her very first fight. She has only been to decision twice in 20 fights, and the last time was in 2008. She has KO'd or TKO'd her last 13 opponents in a row. She is possibly the most dominant woman to ever fight in MMA, but instead I had to sit in a house full of filthy casuals saying that she would get smoked by Rhonda and making juvenile jokes about her appearance. I am possibly the most immature person on the planet, and even I am over those jokes. She is a fighter, and she is damn good at her craft. Will we ever see her fight Rousey? Probably not. According to Dana, Rhonda is probably done completely in MMA. Would I like to see that fight? Maybe. I'd prefer to have seen it 3 years ago. Now I really wouldn't want to hear the excuses people would make for Rhonda being in her own head. Cyborg beats peak Rhonda 10/10 times. Cyborg would do what Amanda Nunes did, but to prime Rhonda. I would put my house on that. Plus she trains with and is BFFs with the female version of the Mountain from Game of Thrones, Gabi Garcia. 

 

See that? That means that Cyborg's sparring sessions are literally tougher than any opponent she will ever face in the cage. To be honest here, I believe that she could even beat Gabi in an actual MMA match solely because I am not sure that even Gabi could take a punch from her, based on previous fights. That fight will never happen though. 

Anyway, here is a live look at me vs my home remodel:

 

Can we talk about Brock vs Jon Jones for a second?

July 26, 2017

My last post (I know, I need to be blogging more, home remodel is kicking my ass) talked about the return of Brock Lesnar and how it was extremely unlikely due to his frozen suspension. Well the internet is stupid and decided it is true and he is coming back (He isn't, not this year) and fighting none other than Jon Jones

 

Me being the MMA purist that I am , I absolutely hate this idea. There are rumors that the WME is having some issues hitting it's projected numbers and are throwing the playbook out the window in order to make some quick serious cash. 

Regardless of the rumors, facts are facts. One is that Brock cannot return until 2018, so cool your jets. Another is that the idea that both of these clowns could make it to a fight without pissing hot is a Vegas gamble in itself. Would WME make some serious money if this fight happened? Probably. But how much would WME lose promoting this fight just for Jon Jones to go on a bender with some fake boner pills, or Brock to forget he was taking tainted hits form his inhaler? Risk vs reward my friends, and I don't see this being a smart gamble at all. Then again, I play it safe which is why I never hit a big jackpot. 

The stats:

Jon Jones is 6'4, 205 LBS with a 84.5" reach. He has only one loss on his record, and everyone knows it was a bullshit loss. So he could honestly be considered undefeated, and as much as I don't like the guy I can't argue that he is one of the GOATs in the cage. Jon just got his BJJ blue belt and was a high school state champ wrestler, but has proven in the cage that he is a natural fighter. 

Brock Lesnar is an inch shorter and significantly heavier, coming in at the limit of 265 lbs, and 3 inches shorter on the reach. Brock is also 10 years older. Brock is one of the greatest collegiate wrestlers of all time, but is absolutely horrible in the cage. 

I can't believe I am actually saying this, but if this fight were to happen I assume Jones would walk in at 230 minimum, still giving up 35 lbs to Lesnar. After careful consideration in my head over this (Really more like 5 minutes of day dreaming), I have to give this fake fight to Jones. 

In all fairness, Jones' only real adversary is himself. I don't even know what DC is going to be able to do this Saturday...Assuming the fight even happens at this point. 

Round the water cooler with Brock Lesner and Cain Velasquez

July 20, 2017

Here we are with a few huge rumors floating around the interwebs. The first of which is Brock Lesner jumping back into the USADA pool for a possible UFC return. Now I just want to take this time to point out that we called Brock's last return before even Ariel Helwani announced it. We noticed that Brock was added back into the UFC Heavyweight roster and ran with it form there. I got shit on on Reddit for speculating, but it turned out we were right as always. Now at this point in time, Brock is not on the UFC roster. Jeff Novitzky of the UFC says not only has Brock not re-entered the USADA pool, but even if he did his suspension still stands. Meaning when he "retired", his suspension was frozen until his return so even if he did return to the pool, he would still be suspended for a year +/-. You know us though, we never believe anything the UFC says. On that note, I am still going to say this rumor has nothing to it as we have no chance of seeing Brock Lesner until August 2018. 

Next up, Cain Velasquez making his triumphant return to the UFC 216 against none other than Stipe Miocic for the gold! 

 

We haven't seen Cain since UFC 200 (July 9, 2016), when he KO'd Travis Browne and got performance of the night. Cain is an amazing fighter, but as one Reddit user put it, he is a "bag of broken parts that can only be assembled at sea level". Ariel Helwani also put the brakes on this rumor anyway. 

 

And Stipe won't discuss anything until the contract issues are sorted. That being said, I am kinda bummed. I have been on the Cain Train since day one, and at the same time it would be nice to see any UFC heavyweight rack up more than 2 wins in a row. 

That's it for me today. So I leave you with this magical fight between a garbage can and machete. 

 

Taco Bell fight. Who ya got?

July 18, 2017

What a ride! I had no idea what was happening at first, but then it all became pretty clear. What I am getting is that home boy in the jeans brought mom down to Taco Bell to settle a score with his former boss. This may seem like a pussy move, but any smart individual knows you don't fuck with a Latin woman. He basically brought an unstoppable force with him. She is throwing ices team containers everywhere, and the manager is powerless. He takes off his shirt and swear he is going to hit her, but he knows damn well if he does that then him mom will magically appear out of nowhere and beat his ass too. So while mom and manager are facing off in the kitchen, home boy in the jeans proceeds to try and call more home boys to come to the Taco Bell. Look man, bringing your mom was a bold move. Some may even call it a solid strategy, but if you AND your mom can't handle the situation then maybe it is time to pack it in. Then we have the real MVPs of the scenario, which are the other Taco Bell employees that continue to hook the drive through customers up with their Cheesey Gordita Crunches and Chalupa Supermes. Honestly, if I am on my 30 minute lunch break, all I want is my damn food. I don't care if Red Dawn is going down, just give me my Crunch Wrap Supreme and let me get back to work. So the manager takes off his shirt (bold move) and mom picks up a spatula, and just when it is about to go down the cops show up and call the fight. mom and Junior are now gonna go cool off in jail for a bit and realize what a huge mistake they made. Corporate is probably going to suspend the manager for violating the "No Shirt" policy, but in reality he just didn't want to rip his uniform and have to buy another one. I'm declaring this fight a no contest. 

UFC Glassgow!

July 17, 2017

What a weekend!

First off, we had 4 first round knock outs including the main event of Ponzinibbo KO'ing Nelson. Paul Felder elbowed Steven Ray, Khalil Roundtree slept Paul Craig, and Galore Bafondo put a stop to an attempted hip toss from Charlie Ward to slam him to the mat earning the first 1st round KO of the night. 

 

Leslie Smith started off the night with a second round TKO over Amanda Lemos. So really if you like finishes, this was an excellent card. 

 

Now I had an entire follow up blog to this, but it was deleted and I don't feel like retyping it. So here are Floyd's lifts form over the weekend:

Which is really not a good look. Lifts are out of the question. 

In closing, let's take a quick look at Cyborg throwing out the first pitch at the Angel's game over the weekend. 

August 26th can't get here fast enough.

July 13, 2017

It's going to be a long 5 weeks for fans of actual MMA. 2 days of the Mayweather/McGregor circus are in the books, and if you want to find literally ANYTHING else MMA related you have to dig deep. I've been watching, and it seems ridiculous to me that people are buying into this shit so much. You watch the press conferences, and Floyd just sits there while Conor runs his mouth and waits for his turn to do the same, and then Conor sits there. These guys know exactly what they are doing, and everyone else is just eating out of their hands. Something I did notice was when Floyd wrapped the flag around himself and Conor picked up Floyd's bag of money, Conor flinched first. Conor said he wasn't going to give the money back until Floyd put the flag down, but Conor actually gave in and put the bag back long before Floyd handed the flag back to him, then Conor throws the flag at him to get the crowd all riled up. I haven't seen anything this tansparent since I got my new windows installed last month. 

But it's working. 

My Facebook feed is full of people coming out of the woodwork for this fight. The Conor train is taking on new passengers at every stop and all of them are handing Floyd the money for their ticket. I feel like if they ever made a movie about this, it should star Damon Wayans, Samuel L Jackson, Jamie Foxx, and Jeff Goldblum. Oh wait...

I seriously can't wait for this fight to be over. Honestly, if the bell rang for round one and a meteor crashed into the T-mobile center before they even exchanged punches, I would be ok with that. We have UFC 214 right around the corner, and no one cares. DC v Jones 2 is finally happening, and not one person is talking about it. Everyone is saying that conor is P4P the greatest shit talker of all time. really? The Diaz bros invented that game. Chael was able to talk better game without ever yelling into a microphone. DC and JJ talking shit when the cameras weren't supposed to be rolling. All of that paved the way for this loud mouthed leprechaun. 

Do you realize that not only is the PPV gonna run you $100, but to see it live the tickets are anywhere from $500 - $100,000?

I feel like this entire scenario could be a sub plot for Idiocracy 2. 

At yesterday's presser, Conor said this: 

Someone's 0 must go? Did Conor forget about getting choked out by Diaz or Duffy? Maybe he forgot about that kneebar from Sitenkov. Or maybe he is referring to both the 0s in his 0-0 boxing record...

Floyd has 49 boxing matches. Floyd has never been defeated. Floyd has defended multiple belts. 

Conor has 24 MMA fights. Conor has been defeated 3 times. Conor has NEVER defended any of the belts he has earned. 

Stay Woke. 

Welcome to the Circus.

July 12, 2017

This is all over the internet today. This is the suit Conor wore to the first press conference for Mayweather vs McGregor. Yes it says Fuck You in pin stripes. No, Floyd had no idea what it said until someone read it to him later. I'll post the video of the ridiculous presser that was over an hour long featuring a performance from Aloe Blacc at the end of this short, stupid, one sided blog. Basically, all you need to know is that Conor is better at talking shit than Floyd (Shocker), and Floyd is probably a little unfocused because the IRS is currently probing him like he was just abducted to their ship. People online seem to be surprised that Conor is taller than Floyd. Well guess what people? Conor is the all around bigger fighter here. Everyone on the Conor train is saying that he is going to win because of this fact, and that he is younger. I honestly can't believe how many people on my Facebook feed are buying into this hype. I also can't believe that the UFC banned Areil Helwani from the fight tour. Although I think it had something to do with Ariel calling out Dana for having Cyborg blocked on Social Media at a presser and then asked Dana publicly to unblock him, to which Dana refused. 

Now that is hilarious. He claims he didn't block Cyborg, and then has to ask for help from some lackey off stage because Uncle Dana doesn't understand technology. All around beautiful. Yeah, I am pretty sure Ariel was removed from the presser for making Dana look like an idiot. Anyway, here is the full press conference with Floyd and Conor. Enjoy.  

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